PUT IT DOWN!

It's fascinating to observe people when you do security…

And by fascinating, I mean ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

A lot of accidents and injuries could be prevented from simply paying attention to our environment.  The unfortunate thing is that our common sense seems to go right out the window with those bloody things in our possession. It takes a lot of willpower to use electronics intelligently and moderately.

What I would like to address, is the use of cellphones in liquor establishments. Please please PLEASE! Can you look where you are walking? It's not only for your safety. If you haven't noticed, there are people walking around with hot food and beverages all over the place, and they are working very diligently to remain patient and professional in the face of much ignorance. We're a little luckier in security since we don't carry trays filled with beverages and food, but we are attempting to keep order while many of you are obliviously glued to your screen and completely oblivious to what's going on around you, including conflict!

I saw a little boy with his family the other day, no more than 4 years of age, he walked out of my pub ahead of his parents after they had a late dinner, not looking AT ALL where he was going. I stood in front of him until he bumped into me and we had a chat… He obviously had no idea that at any moment, he could have been stampeded by grownups who are unaware of little people at this time of the day. Lets not focus on parenting here, but hey, that's a good place to start, right?

A phone is a tool, not a limb, so please understand that it can be a real nuisance for people who are working and attempting to serve YOU, if you appear to not be present. Yes, many employees are guilty of that as well, but not where I work. Besides, pointing fingers at others who are joining you in the unawareness club is not going to help the fact that you, yes YOU, need to WAKE UP!

Thank you kindly,
PHOENIX

Yogi Warrior

I've been walking with gratitude for the ability to learn SELF DEFENCE and YOGA lately. 

As much as I have benefited from it in the past, I think I have a renewed appreciation for what it is teaching me. Taking deep breaths has been a real gift. I think the key, is that I have stopped being governed by others and decided to carve my own path…

 I am not a FIGHTER, but I can be a real shit disturber.

 I have never laid hands on anyone outside the ring, unless it was in self defence or required for my job; Even then, it wasn't intended. At work I use specific controlling techniques shown in tactical training, and I am mindful of the consequences of my actions. 

 I spent most of my life withholding anger and making attempts to be at peace with my family and love ones, until it reaches a limit. Having healthy boundaries has been a life long journey that led me to take a lot of training. I could barely hold it together, and it cost me my mental health and several relationships, so I began searching... 

I thought I had found the perfect outlet to let go of this anger by training martial arts, but I recently concluded that some combative training seems to only serve to move it around, not really addressing the root of it. 

So I took a break and meditated on it.

What I see, is the possibility that martial arts, in many schools that is, are deprived of mindfulness and wisdom. I don't think it's so much the art, but possibly the instructors that make the largest difference in the outcome. For instance I think that some people may seem calm and fairly peaceful individuals, but can justify violence and often pass this on to students who struggle with control and have a more aggressive nature, like myself. That, is rarely a peaceful combination. So even though an instructor may be well intended and with several years of practice on the mat, there is value in looking further in the the mind of a master. 

I can't say I identify easily with most female role models or the gentle archetypes.

I've been attracted to learn from men most of my life and being competitive is pretty natural to me.  I'm often perceived as an alpha expected to stand up for others, and challenge leadership. I'm not keen on joining groups, but I am willing to challenge myself. I would rather go through discomfort and build community, learning to be interdependent and hold my own than be scared to walk this Earth alone and be co-dependant.

 I enjoy a good battle, I usually commit fully to what I do in each moment. 

TRAINING can be difficult when you would much rather prepare beautiful meals, have a bath, practice YOGA, read, have tea with a friend, play with clothes and makeup, and do dishes, etc.

Reality is that my mind is often filled with confusion and fear. We attempt to control our environment in order to minimize danger, but in the end, I would rather learn martial arts than waiting passively for world peace to manifest. 

I need physical outlets or I create havoc in my life. I come across as an angry boar, destroying practically everything in the way with my words. 

Being careful is not enough. 

MINDFULNESS

 MARTIAL ARTS and YOGA are activities that effectively deal with that energy. 

I think many of us shy away from training in self defence because we hope to stay away from violence and perpetuating it. We can't imagine ourselves fighting, even less participating in a group where that seems to be the focus. We have SHIT to do!

 Some of us walk into a club and get a taste of blood, and want more, Somehow we unleash the beast! We become obsessed with this new found "power" and look forward to exercise the right to express it, which can become an imbalance in itself in my observation.

 I have found that training martial arts has brought new people in my life who process life in a very different way than others. Being an active participant in the holistic creation of my reality, I have found that most martial artist are at least committed to growing and living with excellence. The pamphlets may be right about the values training offers, but after my own experience, not all schools teach practical skills for walking on this earth safely and harmoniously. Not everyone embraces the spiritual traditions that martial arts offer either. FEAR of DEATH must be addressed beyond survival techniques. Freedom is found beyond form. Training the mind is sometimes more complex than punching pads and doing a thousand repetitions. 

THAT is why I LOVE YOGA.

Most people who stick with practice must at some point or another learn to live mindfully in a group, and accept leadership. Either that or they will be asked to leave. That right there, is an effective survival skill beyond knowing how to defend a body or kick the shit out of another human being.

Many of us allow conflict to interrupt our training at some point or another, justifying the need to quit. 

It is entirely possible that a style, teacher or the club may not be compatible, and if that's the case, we should give ourselves permission to seek something that is a better fit for us.

I believe that all experiences are beneficial..

 INTEGRITY, HONESTY and HUMILITY are very important values to me. I have learned to appreciate compassion, accept generosity, and let go of my expectations that all teachers should be perfect and egoless! 

Find a FAIR, PROFESSIONAL and CARING educator/mentor.

I would like to thank all my teacher past and present for being willing to share their experience, and for the peace I have found. I am deeply grateful.

A THOUSAND BOWS

J

THE WORK

I don't think a day goes by where I don't mention or post something about Byron Katie and the tools that she has created to free her mind. I have struggled heavily most of my life. I have looked in many different directions for relief. I have reached out to many, and I have lived as best and as fully as possible based on my beliefs and values. I see this reflected in my environment as well. We all do the best we can with what we've got. One thing I find fascinating right now, is the fact that even though there are tools that work in order to illiminate suffering, we often choose to bathe in our woes.

I call it THE ONE MAN/WOMAN PITY PARTY.

I discovered The Work on Bowen Island a few years ago after hitting rock bottom. My mentor brought me there for some time alone and healing. At first, The Work didn't have the impact it has now on my life. I didn't understand how to apply it properly, and I had some personal issues with the facilitator.

I was also presented to another tool at the same time. It was pretty phenomenal and unblocked some pretty huge stuff, but it was very pricey like many self development tools out there. Unfortunately, I stopped having access to it and that was that. Since then, I have listened to and read many of Byron Katie's published work, and it is what I consider to be the most powerful transformational tool out there for a person like me who made the choice NOT to become a zen monk after all. I also love how it is not attached to a religion, therefore it can be used by anyone with an open mind…

The gift in all of the different fascinating experiences I have had through the years, is that I now realize why I love The Work so much; IT'S FREE, it's easy to use, and it's readily available on her website!

NO EXCUSES!

I won't go in details to describe The Work here, I will let you do that for yourself. If you are curious, eager to help yourself and find joy where you never thought it was possible, check it out!

The Work

I DARE YOU TO BE HAPPY

DETACHMENT

Lesson #1 at our dojo:
Don't take it personally!

I know you've heard this before, so what's going to make a difference today? 

This is what I teach our children. It's a difficult lesson, and let me tell you this, training your body to respond to an attack, whether perceived or not, can be dangerous, and not everyone fully grasps the consequences. It's as easy as to lash out at your loved ones when they piss you off. And if you think that martial arts train people to exercise control, you are right, in most case… But not all.

The reason I wanted to bring this up is because I have a message about Self Defence. It looks to me like I'm much more inspired to create awareness by speaking out than by going to kick ass in the dojo everyday… 

Why?

Because I am committed to being of service and doing my part for PEACE. People like Bruce Lee trained very very hard everyday to achieve what he did. He entered competitions in order to challenge himself and his art, to re-evaluate and adjust his practice and conquer his mind. That being said, this is the role model for many of our children. If not him, someone like him. My question to you is, if Martial Arts is intended to avoid violence, why are they portrayed differently in movies? Do me a favour and watch DRAGON: The Bruce Lee story, and realize how tormented this human being was…

Where does that leave us? I've notice that many people are stuck on blaming others, the state of the world, themselves, or all of the above instead of taking responsibility for their state of mind. Many of us carry a lot of anger, and that anger most often covers a great amount of fear about death. Many people think that being tough is a great solution and the best practice for safety. Well, being tough has its advantages, but it doesn't solve the problem. In taking things personally, we often create a problem that doesn't even exist and respond from that place. What I suggest here, is that we truly reflect on the importance of meditation. I don't really care what kind and what the name of it is, however, I do know that sitting with your eyes closed and alone is not necessarily going to cut it. Having a teacher and a community to practice with is very important if we truly wish to blossom as a peaceful being. Many dojos neglect the importance of such practice and avoid conversations of spiritual nature for fear to loose you as a student. The problem with that is that now you are getting some tools, but no container. 

Being part of a dojo is often becoming part of a family, but not always. A conscious community feels very different than a gym. What is important to me is to nurture critical thinking and independence, in children and adults alike. I promote taking personal responsibility for our body and mind, and I also hold space for community. It's not always easy for me to be around people. I was adopted in a family where was an only child and where I was served violence for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I learned that grown ups are crazy and that my adults are often too scared to help me. As a result, community living has been extremely difficult, but it is obvious to me now that I need connection with others in order to be whole, and that my thoughts and beliefs in general need to be revisited.

Being tough is not enough. Sometimes it manifests as an armour and justifies are actions. It's part of what people capable of bullying are made of. Being resilient however, that's a whole different ball game! So how do we deal with our children when we want to protect them from what we fear ourselves? One of the greatest gifts I have received in parenting has been my intuition, and learning to listen and honour it, regardless of what other people say. The other is a book called LOVING WHAT IS by Byron Katie. She clearly, and simply, offers tools in order for us to make choices that bring us peace.
What I would like to point out here though, is that non-violence is not apathy, and that many of us mothers need to really get that. We need to be very honest with ourselves about our children and what makes them whole, we need to look within, and accept what violence has to teach us and express it somehow, become friends with it like my friend sifu Jim Kragtwyk would say. I get that, I am without a doubt, the embodiment of what a powerful and sometimes very angry woman can be like, and I know too well what violence brings. With the right mind, we can nurture that part of us and keep it in check, with the right practice, we can prevent mental illness and violence within ourselves, and change the world! 

My invitation, is that instead of trying to keep ourselves safe by trying to changing others, we look within our own mind and practice compassion and acceptance.
The question I leave you with is:

What IS compassion and what does it really look, sound, taste and feel like?
What does it mean in terms of having the right to self defence,

In my world, it is not a bloody war… 

Gassho,

J

HEALING TRAUMA through Martial Arts.

"Boxing to heal trauma is like smoking to alleviate stress, it may feel good in the moment, but eventually you'll have to drop it and address the problem."

The week I received my Shodan promotion (first degree black belt), I woke up to a very interesting realization; I felt inspired to create a women's only self defence class. I was surprised because I had never been a big fan of "women only" anything, still am not. I also held a belief that I could not measure up to a male martial artist instructor and be taken seriously. Somehow, I had chosen men as role models most of my life, knights being my top heroes. I was fiercely independent, yet broken in my own mind. I accepted that for one reason or another, I was gifted a female body at birth and would one day figure out why. I saw men as STRONG and women, well, I didn't even talk about it. I felt ugly and awkward, angry and oh! so lost… Up to that point, I thought that most of the skills I needed to acquire to become whole in this lifetime, I would learn from a man.

I WAS WRONG

I have learned both from men and women, but mostly, I have learned from being a woman.

What I hope to do here is to share my vision of what it is like to be at peace with the world, and how Martial Arts supports that vision. I do not think it is the only path to freedom, in fact, I believe that everything serves. But what I do know is that many of us carry beliefs about martial arts that are untrue, and that this, like in many other aspects of our lives, keeps us from experiencing the truth.

 I have learned that sensitivity is an important quality in a teacher, man or woman, and that gaining my trust and sharing information is one thing, but awareness of what it is like to walk as a woman on this planet is quite another, let alone if you have suffered from trauma. Recognizing and understanding the barriers that keep women from entering a dojo is something worth looking at in my opinion. Perhaps, like a fish in a pond looking at a cat staring back at him, a martial artist may not quite grasp why it is so difficult for some people to make a commitment to practice. We are so quick to judge. I've been sitting on this topic for a while now and it's very important to me to present my experience in a clear and compassionate way. There are many reasons why we don't find many women in dojos, and perhaps it's the equivalent of why very few men used to practice yoga in North America, until they too discovered it's benefits. However, in my observation, men and women avoid certain things for very different reasons. Women like myself tend to be very challenged in making big commitments to activities that distract us from our responsibilities, and quite honestly, I couldn't have cared less about martial arts when I first entered a dojo.


My relationship with my son is what truly began healing my mind. What I was seeking was to spend time with healthy men and discover why I wasn't attracting them. I was a single mom at the time, and the idea of tradition appealed to me. It was clear that in order to be raising a healthy child, I needed to be at peace with myself, the world, and everyone in it. Actually, that was my mantra.With the help of my mentor, I opened myself to different ideas. I began my spiritual awakening and practice trust in my Self. My mentor at the time in fact, was a woman. She displayed what I considered some very strong masculine traits, which made me trust her. The interesting thing, is that we both balanced out through the years. She however, does not care for training.

It is my intention to explore healthy relationships that led me to my first teacher, sifu Jim Kragtwyk. I have since trained with many teachers, most importantly my husband sensei Jason Kanzan Boyd. They have all contributed to my well being in one way or another, especially the ones that have pissed me off. But it is only yesterday at a seminar with my first teacher that the light went on. It took me this long to realize why I did not enjoy training or failed to see it's value.

THAT IS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU!

Gassho,

J

THERE IS A GIFT IN EVERYTHING

I have learned to trust that every experience, regardless of how it may appear, holds a lesson and a gift. Even when it looks like I am trapped in a corner, where I may not feel like I can manage or hold my own, I keep faith.

Recently, my husband and I have had to reflect on our martial arts journey, and make some adjustments in our training due to property rights. Since his departure from our old dojo limits him as a result of a contract, he will not be able to join me at State of Mind until next summer when the non compete clause is no longer in effect. It is easy to take this barrier as a problem. However, what a beautiful opportunity to relax, learn with a new teacher and feel the freedom of not having the responsibilities of managing a business accompanied by long hours away from loved ones.

What I have learned through my experience at the old dojo is that being a manager is difficult, that holding space for others can be very expensive and sometimes takes away from the basic idea of sharing an art. It is also much more rewarding to give birth to my own dojo and express our own heartfelt values. The fantasy of being part of a traditional family sometimes, is only that; an illusion. What matters to me is integrity.

There is much more to share on this subject and on our new adventure with American Kenpo, but for now, I leave you with this small video. 

*Crossing Talon is a technique I have learned already. American Kenpo has similar if not exact moves as the Kenpo I know (sometimes it's just arranged differently or with a different name.) The main thing I would like to point out is his GM Larry Tatum's style. This man has been sensei Jason's role model for a long time, and when we cut ties with the old dojo, I asked Jason what he would like to do if all his dream could come true and money was not an issue.

 His answer was: "I would learn under Larry Tatum..."

So we called him!

I am pleased to announce that State of Mind will be affiliated with Grandmaster Larry Tatum.

After seeing this particular videoclip, I can see where my teacher, sensei Jason Kanzan Boyd comes from in his gentle yet deadly instruction. I understand where he want to bring his own art, and I see that there is much for me to learn still.  I am thankful for all the past fellow martial artists who have crossed my path and contributed to my own art.

 I also do not hold the same ideas about authority as my husband does, and feel no shame in saying that sometimes, it's time to move on and break away from what no longer serves us. I respectfully bow to all of you who came to teach us, in one way or another, that we are worthy of the new dojo we now call HOME.

My special thanks go out to:

KOSEN ESHU, OSHO, ABBOT OF ZENWEST 

(for teaching me the value of zen practice)

sifu JIM KRAGTWYK

sensei DEAN HOUSTON

sensei GREG LAMOTHE

sensei MIKE MARTELLE

sensei ARI KNAZAN

sensei KEITH VARGA

sensei MICHAEL TURNER

sensei BRIAN SHEW

KEANA and ZENA 

MICHIYO SHEW

Grandmaster RALPH CHINNICK

Grandmaster AL TRACY

All of our friends and students past and present,

OUR FAMILIES

♡

my beautiful son

 DAE

and humble husband

☯sensei JASON KANZAN BOYD☯