Tuesday, May 27, 2014

PAIN vs DISCOMFORT


In training for self defence, we need to be willing to make contact eventually, and learn how to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone, take a hit, feel joint manipulations and learn how to fall properly among many things. Too often, I have seen women having a highly elevated sense of power from either taking a seminar, or training fitness kickboxing. To make things worse, many men do not voice the fact that some women can abuse of their new power when training martial arts. Instead, they just "play along",  and complain that we seem to always "have to" go full on power. It's actually not necessarily the case! The finesse of control is not that easy…

So if you are a man, please know that most of us value communication, and that it's not about appearing "weak" but educating us along the way. We have no idea how we can really hurt you quite honestly. Maybe part of that is your constant "bravado". We have spent most our lives in fear of YOU! Of course I cannot generalize. Some women, for one reason or another, love to inflict pain on men and know they can. In those cases, I think it's a safe bet to question their state of mind. I would advise the same as I do women, just stay away! You can only tell a person to lighten their power so often. After a few times, you have choices to face. As a student, we can tell the lead instructor. As teachers, it is our responsibility to educate and keep a good and respectful environment in the dojo. That is accomplished by having clear guidelines, listening, watching, and being honest with ourselves and others.

I think there is great value in not striking hard and scaring our students, male and female. There is truly very little learning happening under fear/stress. And that is true about sparring as well.  On the other hand, there is great value in stress training. It may give you some insights into the reality of an attack, and where to focus your time and energy for practice. Stress training can take many forms. It can be voluntary from your instructor in the dojo or outdoors with specific drills and simulations, or it can be experienced in tournaments and organized fights. I have mixed feelings about this subject, and I will speak about it in the future. I do think that it makes sense for us to get a reality check and experience reasonably strong contact and stress, especially since many people, mostly younger men in my experience, really love sparring and hard contact! So we need to keep that in mind when being faced by an attacker. Sometimes the decision to adjust our training comes after the fact, but a good teacher is capable of making that clear before hand…

So what is the solution when our primary goal in life is often to relax in a bath filled with bubbles and to receive a relaxing massage? How can we choose to put our body through voluntary pain? It is in our nature to avoid it after all! In my opinion, if we are willing to suffer school and hours of homework for our so called successful future, it only makes sense to look at what is necessary to do in order to maximize our chances in surviving an attack. The sting and effects of a strike can be quite startling if we've never experienced it. Actually, each sensation varies quite a bit from one another. A hook to the jaw feels quite different from a choke, an ankle lock, or an armbar… Learning to deal and escape from each of those techniques, can bring confidence and wisdom from personal experience you would otherwise never acquire from a video or simply witnessing it in a class.

That being said, I am not suggesting that you get broken! There is nothing enticing in that, even for the toughest people out there, well, unless you want to prove something. In fact, numerous male students are not keen on being passive when hit, all it results in usually is an escalation of power on the mats.

There is a name for a student who receives techniques passively for a teacher, he is called the UKE, and if you've ever seen videos with Larry Tatum, you will know that it's a pretty challenging job, although usually an honour and very rewarding! Stress and contact training methods vary from one class to another. Sometimes they are quite extreme. In our school, we tend to encourage repetition of basics with no stress and eventually start increasing contact. From time to time, we practice specific drills, or we distract and create stress with our behaviour.  It of great value to be aware of triggers and injuries when training. That alone are some of the common reasons why many women are not attracted to martial arts, and won't stick with it.

So know the difference, and think on being willing to experience it all.

Practical self defence training is a bit like immunization if you think of it. If you know how it might feel to get caught with a technique, you are more likely to stay the hell away from conflict, to keep your distance/hands up in guard, and to have good defence strategy while being assertive and effective as oppose to being overly aggressive when fighting. The same applies to training with weapons. When we start training with knives, we discover very soon that even plastic can be an unpleasant tool to manipulate. Our weapons expert Braun McAsh demonstrated how he could slash us seven to eight times, in only one second, by putting lipstick on the edges of the practice knife!

In conclusion, lets keep in mind that an experience teacher will use control, and know exactly when to stop. Many martial artists are very knowledgeable in anatomy and in healing arts. They have lots of experience with injuries and aches and pain, so they will guide you in your journey to avoid them, insure your safety and take care of you. You can expect tough love from many, but receiving a broken nose in your first week of training is a sure sign you might need to consider a different school.

Think about the discomfort and the pain of childbearing. My midwife's philosophy is: "Labour is pain with a purpose." I remember training for it in prenatal classes. In retrospective, the most relevant exercise for me was holding an ice cube in my hand for a few minutes while looking at the clock trying to keep a focus. I just think it was an uncomfortable and foreign sensation that triggered a similar feeling as childbirth; it's deeply unpleasant; nothing really prepares you for it. Letting go of the ice cube is easy, and dismissing the value of the exercise possibly a cope out. Actually fighting in the ring also reminded me of labour; the fear leading to it, the mind wanting to take over, and the exhaustion, GOD the exhaustion!

So remember this, I know I'm tough not because I can punch hard, but because I am resilient. And the reality is, being tough is not what I depend on for survival. Humility, common sense, preparation, prevention and awareness are only but a few principles I apply on a daily basis, in hope that I can avoid conflict. And if I ever face violence again, and I have, I hope my skills will help me stay alive and in one peace.

Be well, be safe!


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