HEALING

The following video is a powerful story in the life of one couple, and the people who interact with them. 

 My intention in sharing with you, is first and foremost to create awareness, but also to share my own experience as a participant in such a relationship, as a witness to others who have been in one, and as a counsellor. I encourage you to watch and listen, to suspend your opinion about everything and everyone in this story. 

Then lets go from here…

In my counselling training, we were encouraged to watch videos like the one above, and discuss how we would approach each individual if they were to come through our door. We also role played being the therapist with our co-students, taking turns being clients and being counsellor. We got evaluated by the instructors and received feedback. Everyone else in the room watching gave feedback if they wanted. We were encouraged to be vulnerable, but not pushed beyond our boundaries. We were not even obliged to tell a true story, but I just dove in, like I usually do with everything. A consequence of such vulnerability is often to cause some stress, but in the end, I thought it was quite worth it for many reasons…

What I learned during my training with The Counsellor Training Institute was powerful in many ways, it went miles beyond traditional training and book theory. It was the most efficient practice to get beyond being a victims of abuse for me at the time, and it opened me up to other human beings in a way I never had before. As I embodied each role in the story during our training, I spent time getting in touch with that reality in my own mind. I was personally invested in doing a good job as an actor, so it wasn't difficult to tap into my own experience and deliver a good show. I can be pretty convincing! Little did I know, it was going to be the beginning of a huge transformation in my body, mind and heart. Each time I made an intention to clear conflict in my own life, it seemed to set in motion a whole bunch of opportunities to open up to experiences that would consequently support that intention.

Looking back, I realize that our story about any given event is a strong component in what guides our actions, inaction or non-action. Marie and Fred's story is no exception. As bystanders, we may have strong reactions and opinions about the video. I invite you to question everything. Their story could have many endings, and you will find one of those conclusions posted on YouTube. When I saw the proposed ending, I felt sick to my stomach.

It may not be for the reason you think. 

Many people have a limited view of what abuse is like, and are quick to make judgments about how other people should behave at any given time. What I'm interested in these days, is to investigate what is necessary for people to heal and be happy. What support do they need, and how I may be of service. I am open to explore all avenues and interact with anyone who wish to gain more freedom in their lives, regardless of their experience and history. In the end, everyone is unique and yet holds very common feelings. Whatever role we are playing in the story is not all that important to me now, and surely does not influence my willingness to support your journey to personal freedom.

Speaking of which, we rarely hear the stories of men as victims of abuse, I know many. I am aware that not addressing it has specific consequences, and I do my part in finding balance in everything. It is my hope that men who need support find their voice, and have the courage to trust the process of being vulnerable. Too often, we are stopped in our tracks by judgment, ours or other's, and we use that as an excuse for our behaviour. My experience, is that we can hold a story to justify pretty much anything, and once we have reached a place of extreme struggle and suffering, something will give.

I hope it isn't your life…

I have seen how challenging it is for us to accept reality from every angle. I have been on many sides of this experience. What I would like to shed light on, is that in my own mind, I believe that the answers to healing are within, and that with faith and support, anything is possible. What is hard is when we loose faith and we are confused, when we do not believe we have what it takes to bring about change.

 And what is faith exactly?